There is a new show on TLC called Surprise Homecoming where members of the U.S. Military surprise their families and friends by coming home and not telling them ahead of time. Some show up at their daughters' schools unexpectedly, others surprise their moms' at work. Every show is emotional and if you cry easily, you cannot watch this show without tissues. Its a breath of fresh air compared to the other reality shows that flood our TV. People are addicted to the joke of a show Jersey Shore as we idolize 20 somethings that are literally making money from partying, tanning and physically fighting. I am no different. I have a weakness for Real Housewives and justify this ridiculous obsession by saying it makes me feel better about myself knowing that I would never act the way that these out-of-touch-with-reality women act. No matter how much I try to justify it, I am one of the millions that encourages this type of behavior by being a loyal follower of their sickening actions.
This new TLC show is the first reality show that really does put things in perspective. You do not need any justification to watch this show and if you cry, do not apologize. It tears at your heart strings as you watch these families come together after months and even years of being apart. In most cases, the loved ones of the military personnel have limited contact with their husbands, mothers, sons, daughters, etc and are left on a daily basis worrying about the status of their servicemen and women. In an age where you are only a text message away, I cannot imagine being in that position of not knowing. So, when these men and women come back from serving overseas to surprise their loved ones, its hard not to feel the emotion that pours out from everyone involved.
Its hard to remain stone-faced when you see the 7 year-old girl crying in her dad's arms because she is so overjoyed to have him safely home. I was blessed to have a dad who was at every home basketball game, at every softball tournament and every one my sister's and my big life events. We were lucky to have a mom who greeted us every day when we got off the school bus, most of the time with freshly baked cookies. Its easy to take for granted everything our families were able to provide for us thanks to the brave men and women that fight for this country on a daily basis.
I have also been blessed to have met the love of my life who works in the very chaotic world of college men's basketball. There are long nights at the office, long road trips and once he becomes an assistant coach, there will be long recruiting trips. It can make for lonely nights and rough weeks, but at the end of the day, I know exactly when he is coming home and that he is safe. I know that after a game at Notre Dame, the team will hop back on the bus and come home. He might not make it home until 2:00 AM, but he is coming home. Worse case scenario, he will be upset over a loss.
Our first year of dating, Matt and I hit some rough patches in our relationship because we were both adjusting to life as a coach at VCU. I will never forget the moment that gave me an entirely new perspective on our life together. Before this TLC show aired this year, there was a short-lived TV show on another network with the same concept. I had been traveling for my job at R-MC, so I did not have to go into the office that Friday morning. After being on the road for a week, our boss would let us take the morning off and come in around lunch time. That Friday morning, I kissed Matt goodbye as he headed into the office and I remember him making fun of me because I was getting ready to watch this new TV show. He knows how sensitive I am, knew I was going to cry, so he joked about getting out of there as soon as possible.
As I sat there in Matt's apartment watching the show I had DVR'ed the night before, it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I had been feeling sorry for myself because Matt worked late nights and traveled a lot - for a GAME. For a game that I love as much as he loves it. Matt's life isn't on the line each day. He is not facing a war zone and I don't wake up every day wondering where he is and if he is okay.
When you are facing your own problems and issues in life, its so easy to forget to take a step back and put things in perspective. Its easy to get sucked into feeling sorry for yourself and wishing things were different. At VCU, I was blessed to have an amazing support system through my girlfriends who were all facing the same thing. Even here in Chicago, I have unbelievable co-workers that have helped take my mind off the fact that Matt is in France for 10 days. It goes without saying that my parents have been there for me during all of this as well. As Matt and I continue in the basketball world, I will no doubt continue to meet incredible women who have supported their husbands throughout the years and have made it through the ups and downs. But as tough as college sports can be, nobody has it harder than the families of those serving our country overseas.
Whether or not they want us to feel sorry for them, I think it should be noted that these men, women and children are the strongest people I think any of us will ever meet. I pride myself on being independent and being able to go about my life even when Matt is not around. I cannot honestly say that I would 100% be able to do that as a military wife, daughter or girlfriend. Who do they use to gain perspective? I mean, when times are tough for Matt and I, I always just take a step back and thank God that he is college basketball and his life is not on the line every day. I cannot imagine being in a position where it is.
Even though the show is hosted by the overly-cheesy Billy Ray Cyrus, its worth watching if only to take a short break from the useless reality TV shows we are all so used to. If anything, it puts things in perspective. If you don't see the show, just remember that whatever you may have going on in your life, there are others who are battling as well. But more importantly, its not just the men and women overseas that are sacrificing themselves for us, but also their families. I have the utmost respect for these men, women and children and cannot imagine ever being in their shoes.
I know it sounds harsh that I use their lives to help me feel better about my situation, but it is out of pure respect and admiration. God bless all the men and women fighting for us here back home - and just as importantly, God bless the loved ones of these me and women who are strong enough to be constant support for them.
There is a quote from my favorite book I have ever read - Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resistance and Redemption - that I have come to live by. I have always had a very different relationship with God than the rest of my family. I have always questioned a lot of things surrounding religion and faith especially with the state of our world. But I stumbled across this quote and I think its appropriate for this post. The book is about a WWII U.S. pilot who survived for 34 days on open water in enemy territory before being taken as a POW by the Japanese. For years, he willed himself to survive as the Japanese did everything they could to try and kill him. He eventually made it back home to the U.S. but could not adjust to life back in the states. One day, his wife was able to get him to go listen to Billy Graham in Los Angeles. The man was so out of touch with religion, as would be expected, that he got up to leave in the middle of sermon. As he was walking out of the tent, he heard Graham say the following quote as referring to God:
"If you suffer, I will give you the grace to go forward."
In this true-life story, the man turned back around, sat down and from that day on spent the rest of his life working with troubled teenagers who were dealt a bad hand. It is the most heartbreaking, disturbing, inspiring and unforgettable book I have ever read and I highly recommend it to anyone who is has a passion for non-fiction. But more importantly, it is the quote, that along with some serious perspective, has helped me through difficult times.
I know this post is way out of the ordinary. I am prone to blogging about my missteps paddle boarding or finding the most amazing nacho helmet ever. But its hard not to blog about this as I sit here in my Chicago apartment, watching the end of Surprise Homecoming and missing Matt while he is in France. This is all part of my experiences and adventures here in Chicago and I felt like I could not leave this one out just because it didn't recount an incident of me living it up in the big city. I can't promise that every time Matt is gone on a long trip that I won't feel sorry for myself even if its just for a brief second. But I have come to realize that I am blessed beyond belief and that nothing will be put in front of me that I will not be able to get through without the help of perspective and truly believing that someone is granting me the grace to go forward.
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