If paddle boarding was an example of my self-proclaimed athleticism, then kayaking was a blatant example of my awkwardness and complete lack of coordination. So begins the story of my first kayaking experience through Living Social...
I should have known it was going to be a rough one when I got stuck in traffic for 30 minutes just trying to get to the event. We were supposed to be there by 5:00 to great the guests who actually BOUGHT the adventure, but 5:00 comes and goes and I was stuck in my car on North Ave where apparently, its normal to do construction during rush-hour. When I finally showed up, I was THE last Living Social worker to arrive. Excellent.
The next 30-40 minutes were fine - just checked in the customers and directed them to the "cubbies" where they could put all their stuff that they didn't want to take with them on the river. Most of the guests asked the typical question of what was the likelihood that they would get wet. I pulled some stuff out my behind since I have never kayaked before and simply said "it just depends - if its windy out there, we might hit some waves that get us a little wet." Sounded good to me and apparently it was a good enough answer for the guests. Mind you, I have never in my life been kayaking. But then, one young lady asked me "so, what are the chances of capsizing?" Um, excuse me? There is a chance I could CAPSIZE out there? I mean, I am a good swimmer, but I am definitely one of those people that if I get pulled under water in an unnatural way, there is a good chance I will panic.
I am not sure I was able to convince her as easily as the other guests since I had a deer-in-headlights look on my face. Instead, I awkwardly laughed and told her I am pretty sure there is a very small chance that that actually will happen. Then I walked away. No way was I going to continue conversation with her and allow her to sense that I had no idea what I was talking about AND was panicking.
So finally, we wrapped up the check-in and headed down to the river (Chicago River) for our brief lesson in kayaking. We got the basics - how to steer, how to slow down if we were going to crash into someone or something - you know, the important things. It was just me and one other Living Social worker (Morgan) manning the group of 34 guests. We did have 2 people from Kayak Chicago, the company Living Social works with for both paddle boarding and then this ridiculous adventure. The first thing we did was go through the instructions on land. Everyone climbed into a kayak that was on land and we walked through the different paddling techniques. Lucky for me, there was no kayak for me at the point, so I had REMEMBER what the Kayak Chicago guy said for when I was actually in the kayak and had a paddle. Great start.
After about 10 minutes of instruction, we headed down to the dock where, one by one, we hoped into our kayaks and started out on our hour and a half kayaking adventure down the Chicago River. I was the last person to get into mine, thinking that it would just be best if I rounded out the back of the group and let Morgan round out the front. What I DIDN'T calculate was the fact that I might not be that good at kayaking and that by rounding out the back, I would actually be in dead-last struggling to keep up.
As we started to kayak down the river, I tried to find a rhythm. I mean, how hard can it be? Paddle on one side, then paddle on the other. Piece of cake. Fail. Big time. I couldn't find a good balance between each stroke, couldn't find a good place to put my hands on the paddle, and because of that, I was splashing water into my kayak on every paddle. I did manage to get ahead of at least 3 of the 34 people. Once my ego kicked in, I refused to be dead last, not matter how awkward I looked trying to stay ahead of the others.
Kayakers look so smooth going down the river. Each paddle looks like its done with ease and there is never any splash coming up from the water. And then there is me. Not only was I slashing water into my kayak the entire 4-mile paddle, I was also splashing water on the kayaks around me (that's WHEN I was actually close enough to other people). On top of that, I kept hitting the paddle on the size of the kayak. We all know how loud heavy plastic on heavy plastic sounds. I was making that noise all night long. I would get a couple of good strokes in then BANG! BANG! Paddle, meet kayak.
Then, instead of gracefully placing the paddle back into the water, every stroke sounded like someone dropping a brick into the water. KERPLUNK! KERPLUNK! So, imagine that PLUS the sound of the paddle hitting the side of the kayak. The only thing I was missing for the whole imagine to be complete was a nose plug and a bathing cap.
I finally caught my stride with about 15 minutes left in the paddle. But before then, I made a decision that got me through the hour and a half trip. I decided that there was NO way all those people who were ahead of me for the fist half of the paddle were going to beat me back. Ok, well, some of them were because they were SO far ahead of me. But, I knew that at least half of them were going to be exhausted on the paddle back. I mean, its a serious upper body workout and some of the people on this trip looked like they had not done a push-up in years. No judgment - I just used this as motivation.
So, for the last half of the trip back, I was determined not to coast like so many of the guests were doing. I was going to paddle the entire way back, no matter how uncoordinated I looked or how wet I got. I was going to beat the majority of the people back whether they liked it or not. I crossed the finish line well ahead of the majority of our group and did a fist pump in my head when I didn't fall out of my kayak when I was getting out of it on the dock. That was probably the biggest accomplishment of the night because if anyone was going to fall out, it WAS going to be me. I'm sure nobody would have been surprised after seeing me kayak like I was a 3-year old girl playing splash in the bathtub.
The night ended with a cookout, a bonfire and games of cornhole right by the river. Guests enjoyed cheeseburgers, beer and chips before heading home. One thing that was amazing about the adventure was the fact that we followed the river into downtown Chicago just as the sun was setting and all the buildings were starting the light up. It was breathtaking. I wish I had my camera, but then I remembered I was sitting in 5 inches of water that I paddled into my kayak, so it was probably a good thing I didn't bring it. Again, one of those moments where I couldn't believe I was living in Chicago and getting to take part in all of these experiences.
So, just when I surprised myself with my ability to stand-up on a paddle board, I also surprised myself with my complete inability to kayak gracefully. I can officially cross that off my bucket list. I am pretty sure it was NEVER on my bucket list, but now, I can say I have done it. Been there, done that. I'll take a paddle board and strut my "athleticism" any day over revealing my true lack of coordination. If only someone had a video camera, it would have made an excellent youtube video.
Until next time, much love. Live Socially!
i love this. and you.
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